Like, the moment when we get THE phone call… the phone
call that tells us that we’ve been matched with a birth mom and she has chosen US
to be parents for her baby.
Or, when we get to see that sweet baby of ours for the
first time. I don’t have a clue what that’s going to feel like, although I think I have
a pretty good idea.
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We’ve talked with many people who are thrilled that we
have chosen adoption as the way to grow our family. It brings us joy to know
that you are interested in what God is doing in our lives.
We appreciate when you share positive adoption stories with
us. We love that you are trying to make a connection and help encourage
us along the way.
A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog post called “What to Say.What NOT to Say.” Basically, we want you to encourage us. Before speaking, ask
yourself, “Is this helpful, or hurtful?”
I don’t want to hear about 'this one person'
who brought home a sweet baby, and then the birth mother changed her mind a few
weeks later and the baby was taken away.
I’m not going to go tell my newly-pregnant friend that 'so-and-so' recently had a miscarriage...
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Both of these scenarios involve an expectant parent losing a baby, and that is heartbreaking. What makes you think that your failed adoption story is going to encourage us in ANY way?
We are aware of the risks involved and have come to terms with them.
If the only things you've heard about adoptions are horror stories, keep them to yourself.
We'd MUCH rather hear about your beautiful niece who is adopted and was welcomed with open arms into your family, and you can't imagine life without her.
Couldn't agree more! I challenge EVERYONE to treat adoptive Moms & Dads-to-be just as they would treat any expectant parent. Shower them with love, encouragement, and ask them how they're doing. While becoming a parent through adoption is different than physically giving birth to a baby, there are SO many similarities that tie us together with other new parents. Just because people can't see a baby growing in your belly, doesn't mean we adoptive parents don't have similar feelings/worries/excitements along our path to parenthood. Stay the course, and always know there are people who have AWESOME adoption stories. We're in your corner :-)
ReplyDeleteYou may not be the tummy mommy, but you are the heart mommy. And we all know the heart is the most important! Congrats on everything!!! Very happy for you and your growing family!
ReplyDelete--Matthias
Hi Josh and Erika!
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you will remember me but I met you and your family while you lived in Sumner, you were in the same class as my brother Matt, and I remember you and your wonderful parents!
So happy to hear that you chose to adopt! Here is my adoption story....
I was born in Iowa City to a mother who wasn't ready for me, I was blessed to become part of a loving family who didn't think they could have children, but to their surprise they had two boys after
adopting me! I was raised in a loving home with two parents that supported me fully, and two brothers that have been there that I love n wouldn't trade for the world!
I know a lot has changed since I have been adopted, but the story still remains... There was a family who wanted a baby, and a baby who desperately needed a family!
I know his or her family is waiting out there for you, keep the faith!