WE'RE APPROVED!

The official paperwork came in the mail today from our caseworker, which completes our home study and approves us for adoption placement!

We were originally hoping to be approved somewhere around Thanksgiving/early December, so it was a nice surprise to have it arrive early. Wahoo!

So what does this mean exactly?

Our first (huge) step in our adoption process is now complete. We’re officially approved to be parents.

Next, we will be applying with individual adoption agencies and waiting for a match with a birth mom.

We will receive information on situations where birth moms are ready to make an adoption plan for their baby. The mother might be three months along in her pregnancy, or she might be going into labor! Because we don’t know when we will be matched with a birth mom, or how far along she is in her pregnancy, we don’t have a clue how long it’ll be until we bring our baby home. But, we have to be ready at any time… which is way exciting and extremely nerve-racking at the same time!

Can’t wait to have a little one in our arms.

Fundraising Challenge UPDATE

We’re just over halfway through our Husband vs. Wife Challenge!

Throughout the month of November, Josh and I have been crafting/cooking/cleaning/babysitting/baking up a storm!

This fundraiser has been a MUCH bigger success than we ever dreamed. We’re overwhelmed with the amount of support we’ve gotten from our friends and family. Friends we haven’t talked with since high school, and even complete strangers, have been supporting us by ordering items for our fundraiser. It’s been awesome!! Thank you so much for your generosity.

As of today, ERIKA is in the lead!! However, there are still TWO WEEKS left in our competition, so help us finish off strong!

What to Say. What NOT to Say.

Last week, my heart was broken.

Like, drop-my-computer-on-the-floor-and-run-to-the-bathroom-sobbing, type of broken.

So far, comments we’ve gotten about our adoption have been so positive and upbeat… a few awkward questions have been thrown in there, but those have been fairly easy to dodge.

Last week, I fell apart.

I didn’t post my feelings on Facebook. I didn’t share it with my friends. I didn’t even show it on my face. You wouldn't know.

This is what inspired my blog post today. We understand that people are curious about adoption, and we encourage people to ask about the process itself. But, please be careful of your words. Some of your questions and 'advice' can really sting.

What to say.
These are comments from friends and family that have lifted our spirits and have really encouraged us:

·         You will be fabulous parents!

·         So happy for you guys!

·         You have no idea how happy this makes us!

·         What a lucky child.

·         So excited for our new family member!

·         I can’t wait to meet the newest member of your family.

·         I will be praying for you!

·         You two will make the best parents.

What NOT to say.

These comments have made us feel really uncomfortable and upset:

·         Oh, are you adopting because you can’t have your own?

·         There will be things you will be missing out on (bonding, nursing, etc).

·         That’s really expensive. Are you sure you want to do this?

·         They (adopted kids) do have problems when they get out into the real world. I guess they call it “bullying,” so I wanted you to put that into your little thinking cap.

·         Wouldn’t you rather have your own baby?

Another question to consider before asking...

We understand that most people are just curious when they ask us our reasons for adopting. But think about this for a moment… When is the last time you asked a pregnant woman WHY she got pregnant?

Probably never. You just don’t. That would be really awkward… and it’s absolutely NONE of your business.

Our intent to adopt for the purpose of growing our family has been clear from the beginning. We’re been through hours of invasive questioning. We’ve submitted fingerprints to the FBI. We’ve been through background checks. We’ve had our home inspected for safety. We’ve asked six people to submit letters of recommendation for us. We are ready to be parents.

There was no "oops" or "surprise" involved. We are in a loving, committed relationship and have both given 100% to becoming parents. We have been actively, and excitedly planning, for our baby's arrival, even though we don't know what the baby will look like, where the baby will be from, or even when the baby will be born.

Final thoughts...

We are well-aware that we are not growing our family the “normal” way.

But guess what? Being parents is more than carrying a baby for nine months or contributing a portion of your DNA.

It’s about loving a child unconditionally and doing the best you can to provide for them. And that’s what we intend to do. We are going to love this child with everything we have.